Clapping Man Thinks He's Some Kind of Hero

Get a load of this guy...


Nobody likes a braggart, and Mr. Kent "Toast" French is the epitome of a braggart. What makes it worse is that he's bragging about his ability to applaud. He's out there waving around some bullshit certificate like it's an Olympic medal. Give me a break, Toast. Being the fastest clapper in the world is nice, I guess. But how much of an accomplishment is it really? From what I've seen, the world of competitive clapping is a small one. Given a few weeks training time, I'm sure there are some pro baseball players who could out-clap the shit out of this fool. Also, he clearly hasn't been able to translate this into any discernible skill, unless you consider making terrible YouTube videos a skill. Next time I need to start a clap-gang, Toast will be the first guy I grab. Until then, keep clapping, friendo.

Final Four/Championship Game

I think it's safe to say that the Final Four and the championship game were a huge disappointment, at least from an entertainment perspective. The only drama in the last game was seeing how much UNC would win by.

-Kudos to the Tar Heels for putting the kibosh on a tough Michigan State team. Even though I hate them, especially Tyler "get me some tissues I'm crying again" Hansbrough, I have to admit they deserved it.

Not what I wanted to see...

-Danny Green is one of my most feared players in basketball. If I'm rooting against UNC, every time this guy so much as glances at the rim I get a little hot under the collar. I swear, I've seen him miss maybe 10 threes over the course of his career.

-The Villanova-UNC game brought up a debate I find myself having each time I watch a game where a team that normally makes threes is struggling. If you're Jay Wright,and your team can't make a shot, do you encourage the guys to keep shooting or do you try to figure out something else? There are solid arguments on both sides. On one hand, if you've advanced to the Final Four because of great shooting, it seems antithetical to go away from what has worked in the past. At the same time though, sometimes the shots you normally make just don't fall. I tend to side with the latter argument, depending on the situation. In that particular game, Nova would have given themselves a better chance if they started taking it to the bucket more. Lawson, Hansbrough, and Green were all in foul trouble. There comes a point in the game where you have to say, "We're not making threes. The seasons on the line. Let's try something different."

-Clark Kellog was atrocious throughout the tourney, especially in the Nova/UNC game (I missed the other game due to a tennis match). He seemed to be pulling phrases out of thin air. During one stretch, he referred to Ty Lawson's "rush hour handle." Umm, what? I'm guessing he's talking about the perturbing traffic situation and not the Jackie Chan/Chris Tucker series of films, but no one is sure at this point. During the same stretch, Kellog called Lawson a "high level custodian." I've conducted a number of informal polls and have scoured the internet, and no one has been able to explain to me how being a "high level custodian" is a positive characteristic of a basketball player. Also, in the championship game, he claimed that a player can't back up while boxing out. From my admittedly rudimentary understanding of the concept of boxing out, backing up is the prime component. Granted, my forays into boxing out are few and far between, so I could be dead wrong here.
-Bobby Frasor inexplicably pulled down an absurd amount of offensive rebounds in these two games. Actually, check that it's not inexplicable at all. The teams focus so much on keeping guys like Hansbrough and Deon Thompson that it's easy to forget about the squirrely little white guy.

-Good job by MSU to get to the title game, but what a poor showing in the championship. The Spartans turned the ball over on 21 of 89 possessions and were never in any position to win the game. I can't figure out if they just played that badly or if UNC is just much, much better.

-This year's One Shining Moment was sub-par. They showed the Scotty Reynolds shot against Pitt too early, for one thing. It also seemed like there was an excessive amount of Blake Griffin as well. To be fair, it's tough to work a Final Four that was essentially devoid of drama into a quality One Shining Moment.

Nothing could live up to the greatness of the 2002 One Shining Moment. I don't know why, but I love this one...


-I've had some horrible brackets before, but this year my level of incompetence reached an all time high. I'm in dead last in both of the brackets I had on Facebook, despite picking a completely different Final Four in each one. Ditto for the two brackets I actually put money on. Not one of my better efforts, but I feel confident about next year.

Anyway, I'm taking a break from writing about sports for a while, probably until the NBA playoffs start. Coming soon: a bunch of random shit and possibly a review of Watchmen if I get around to seeing it again. Speaking of film, very excited about Adventureland. I'm not going in hoping for the Citizen Kane of comedies, but for a spring release it looks solid. Ok, bye.

Sweet 16/Elite 8: Well, that sucked...

This wasn't a great weekend for college basketball or for my bracket. Most of the games were snoozefests, the average margin of victory was (by my own calculations) 55.7, and every game except Pitt-Villanova seemed to lack any kind of flow or rhythm. On a personal level, seemingly every team I was rooting for/had in my bracket lost. I guess the "glass half-full" way to look at this would be that 1) it looks like a collision course of the two teams (UNC and UConn) that have been the best all year and 2) the better team has more or less won each game. I don't see it like that, though. I long for the days when the George Masons and Wichita States of the world made it to the Elite 8. A few thoughts...

-So apparently Hasheem Thabeet is a big Scrabble player. Like Luke Wilson in Anchorman, I did not see that coming. He looks more like a Battleship guy to me. There is some precedence to this Scrabble/basketball connection, though. Back in high school, a bunch of guys from my team would play Scrabble before practices and games. It was a good time. Anyway, according to the article, Thabeet has trouble finding competition, which doesn't surprise me at all. Somehow I don't think that Stanley Roberts and Jeff Adrien are looking to break a pre-game mental sweat.

Hasheem Thabeet: immigrant, shot blocker, humanitarian, wordsmith

-What the hell happened to Memphis? 102 points? Really? For the season, the Tigers gave up about 57 points a game. Granted, that's against a hodgepodge of Conference USA teams that would struggle to make the playoffs in the Fidelity House men's league, but it''s still an impressive number. I know Missouri was good, but they average about 81 points a game. For a team that supposedly takes pride in it's defense, what a dismal effort.

-Missouri has the second most wins in the tourney without a trip to the Final Four. The number one team? Sadly, the Eagles of Boston College.

-The Zags loss to UNC was brutal. Like I said before, I wouldn't have bet my life savings on a Zaga win, but I thought they'd put up a better fight than they did. I didn't get to see most of the second half because CBS switched to MSU-Kansas, but it seemed like every time Gonzaga got into any kind of rhythm the Tar Heels would come back with a score. UNC is great at that. One of the announcers mentioned it during the UNC-Oklahomah game: the Heels do a great job of getting the ball out and attacking after the other team scores. So while your team is celebrating, they're knocking down a three on the other end. They also shot a blistering 57.9% from three (11 of 19) and 52.9% from the field.

-Since I have no team left to support, I guess I'll just root for a MSU-Villanova final. Speaking of Nova, Jay Wright wins the award for best-dressed coach of the tournament. The man looks like he's attending a wedding reception night in and night out. You've got to respect that.

-Bill Raftery on Scotty Reynolds: "The thing about Reynolds is that even if he misses a couple, he's still gonna jack em up. He plays very positively." Translation: He's a chucker. Still, that last second shot is one of the best end-of game plays I've ever seen. A ton of credit should go to Dante Cunningham, who made the hook and ladder-esque pass to Reynolds. To have the state of mind and wherewithal to make a play like that under those conditions was extraordinarily clutch. It's reminiscent of the Bryce Drew shot, though obviously not as good.




-I wish Gus Johnson was announcing the Final Four. Clark Kellog is alright, but he really doesn't bring much to the table. He's knowledgeable, yeah, but he's about as interesting as a lecture on Keynesian economic theory. Anyway, check out some of Gus Johnson's memorable calls. The video is really grainy, but otherwise it's pretty sick.


-It was too bad to see Oklahoma go out the way they did. In my experience, whenever a team has a great year but gets blown out in their last game people tend to dwell on that one game. Look at the '85 Patriots. They had a solid season(ending the year at 14-6) which ended in the franchises' first Superbowl trip. No one remembers that, though. All anyone remembers is the 46-10 drubbing they took in their last game.

-Anyone who thinks Tyler Hansbrough is better than Blake Griffin is either a lunatic or doesn't understand the game of basketball. Griffin is a better rebounder. He's stronger, and he's much more dominant. The guy gets it done despite being the focus of every teams defense. Golden Boy is on a better team, clearly. He's a very good college player. But let's be honest, a good chunk of his points come from bullying guys in the post and using his size and physicality to just out muscle or outwork people. The man has the finesse of a field ox. There's no way in hell he'll be doing that in the NBA. For further proof of Hansbrough's sucktitude, see below.

-CORRECTION: In last week's post, I haphazardly mentioned that Eric Devendorf was the most annoying player in recent memory. Well, I was obviously a little loopy when I wrote that, because Joakim Noah outranks Devendorf in virtually every category on the aggravation scale. Ridicolously bad haircut? Check. Aggravating parent/sibling/wife/fan following at every game? Check. Elitist attitude and sense of entitlement? Check. General douchebaggery on and off the court? Check. I guess his obscure NBA career made me forget about him. My bad.

Noah is unsurpassed in his ability to infuriate fans, players, opposing coaches, infants, kittens, etc.

March Madness Opening Rounds

The first two rounds of this years NCAA tourney have been disappointing to say the least. Despite a few first round upsets (Cleveland State pounding Wake, Wisconsin getting a miraculous layup to beat FSU, Arizona beating Utah) there are no Cinderellas left. There were some good games, like Siena-Ohio State and Gonzaga Western Kentucky, but it seems like most of them have wallowed in that 10 point, not-a-blowout-but-not-a close-game-either territory. A few observations:

-UConn and Villanova have looked the sharpest so far. UConn put the wood to the Mocs of Chattanooga in their first game, then embarrassed Texas A&M in the second. I honestly didn't think the Huskies were great without Jerome Dyson, but they've been impressive so far. Nova struggled a bit against a gritty American, but throttled UCLA in the Round of 32. That was an embarrassing loss for the Bruins. It's one thing to lose in your last game, but they looked like they didn't want to be out there.

-Pitt has looked shaky. They avoided becoming the first 1 seed to be upset, mainly due to East Tennessee State's abysmal performance from the free throw line. If you're trying to beat a team much better than you, it's a must that you make at least 80% of your freebies. The Buccaneers shot a ghastly 12 for 24. Ouch. Anyway, against OK State, Pitts vaunted defense gave up a whopping 49 points in the first half. I don't think Xavier is unbelievable, but look for a potential upset Saturday and the close of Levance Fields seemingly never-ending career.

-My beloved Zags dodged a bullet against a red-hot Western Kentucky team. The Hilltoppers played out of their minds, seemingly hitting every open three and getting big play after big play down the stretch. Gonzaga plays North Carolina Friday. By no means would I guarantee a victory, but I think the Zags have as good a chance as anyone to upend the Tar Heels. The two teams met a few years ago in the pre-season NIT, with Gonzaga coming away with an 82-74 victory. In that game, Josh Heytvelt dominated Golden Boy Tyler Hansborough. They've certainly got the the skill to play with the Tar Heels, but it remains to be seen if they have the toughness. Jeremy Pargo is going to be the X-factor. He's as athletic and skilled as anyone on UNC. If he scores 15+, Gonzaga will be in a good position to win.

-I don't remember who was announcing the game, but he was all over Maryland's somewhat portly Sean Neal, calling him a "church league all-star." Later in the Gonzaga-Western Kentucky game, the announcer(I wish I could remember who it was) made the same charge against WKU's Orlando Mendez-Valdez (who had a game-high 25 points). This raised the question: who would be a better men's league or rec player? On the one hand, Mendz-Valdez can shoot lights out from pretty much anywhere. Neal, though, would be a force on the inside. I'd have to give the edge to OMV I think, just because guards tend to dominate those leagues. Also, Neal looks like the type of guy who gets wildly out of shape during the offseason.

Orlando Mendez-Valdez, coming to a men's' league near you...

-Expect Syracuse to give Oklahoma a run for their money. If you look around the college basketball landscape this year, the good teams are all relatively "starless." Even guys like Dejuan Blair of Pitt and Ty Lawson of UNC aren't exactly of the Kevin Durant/Carmello Anthony mold. Oklahomah is not like that at all. I think leaning so much on one player, especially a big guy, means they have a good chance of being upset. Syracuse has been playing well as of late and they have a balanced team; their starters average 17,16, 12, 10, and 10. Oklahoma's average 23, 14, 10, 9 and 8 but more importantly, Blake Griffin is virtually their only rebounder. If he gets some early foul trouble or pulls a hammy, the Orange will have a shot. Speaking of Syracuse, my brother brought up a good point the other day: Arinze Onuaku looks like Jonny Flynn's father.

Onuaku congratulates his son on a job well done.

-Another thing about Syracuse, I can't think of any player in recent memory more annoying than Eric Devendorf. Everything from his "ghetto" tattoos, to his ridiculous on-court posturing and trash talking, to his abuse of women screams "I am an ignorant tool." But it's not so much his classless behavior that bothers me. I mean, Jason Williams (the former Kings pg, not the announcer turned murderer or the motorcycle enthusiast) had the same "trailer park thug" vibe as Devendorf , but he was at least fun to watch. Devendorf is a chucker extraordinaire who thinks he's God's gift to the game of basketball. Pat Forde recently wrote an article for ESPN where he interviewed Devendorf. "I'm a good dude, man. I'm a down-to-Earth dude" he says. Give me a break. Remember his celebration after his supposed game winner against UConn? Not exactly the actions of a "down-to-Earth dude." As Frank Costanza once said: This guy, this is not my kind of guy. End of rant.

-I couldn't have been more disappointed with Arizona's success this weekend. Why? Because it validates the idea of putting "name" schools who had mediocre seasons into the tourney. Are the Wildcats one of the best 65 teams in the country? Probably, yeah. But their resume did not merit them getting in. They only won 6 more games than they lost, for Christ's sake. You're telling me if, for instance, Oregon State had the same resume they would have been tourney-bound? Now, the next time some bum on the selection committee is arguing for an average school from a power conference to get in over a mid-major team that had the best season in school in school history but bowed out in the conference championship game, he can just say "Look at Arizona in '09."

-One trend I've noticed is that not many guys are rocking the high socks these days. The fashion statement that has made a huge impact has been, regrettably, the arm band/sleeve thing first popularized by Allen Iverson. For the life of me I can't figure out what possible purpose, medical or otherwise, this could serve, other than maybe covering up obscene tattoos. I'm assuming it's a "this looks cool" type thing, in which case I'm fine with it. I just wish they would admit that it's a fashion statement, instead of hiding behind the "my doctor told me I had to wear this because it keeps my arm warm" excuse. They should implement a rule that you have to be one of the top two players on your team to wear a sleeve. If you come off the bench or average less than 10 points a game and are wearing a sleeve, you're probably a jackass.

-Finally, the commercials this weekend are getting stale like you wouldn't believe. I watched most of the games, and every game used more or less the same rotation. This consisted of the Axe commercial with the sweatiest man in the world, three or four Sonic commercials with the two guys in the drive-thru, the "alright class, let's button it" for that phone company, the Jordan Legendary ones, and a car commercial or two here and there. Some of these are moderately funny, but seeing them twenty to thirty times in a day tends to ruin the humor.

Review: The Dark Knight

I saw the Dark Knight a whopping three times in the theaters, which ties it with The Lion King for films I've seen the most times on the big screen. I saw it once more on DVD and during finals I would sporadically watch clips of it on Youtube. I was convinced it was the greatest movie of all time after my first viewing. Now that it's been a few months and "Dark Knight" mania is over, I've had some time to reflect and think a bit more critically. Without further ado (adue?), my thoughts.

Background: I was one of those weird little kids who rooted for the bad guys. Obviously this made me a huge Joker fan. In fact, my pillow case right now is a green-haired, red-lipped, maniacal Joker laughing his ass off with word HA! littered across the pillow. Growing up, I remember being less than impressed by the Cesar Romero Joker in the ridiculous yet comical 1960's Batman television series. I wasn't crazy about Jack Nicholson's Joker either. He didn't look like the Joker; he was too fat. In 2005, Batman Begins came out, and I thought it was very good, but not great. I was a little disappointed after learning that Heath Ledger was going to be playing the Joker, but this was obviously unfounded.

What Worked:The acting performances are top-notch. The characters work off each other perfectly and their interactions never feel forced. The minute exchanges between them, like when Alfred talks briefly to Dent, or Bruce's unrequited love for Rachel that's present throughout the film but rarely mentioned, are a big reason why this movie is successful from a dramatic standpoint.
The cinematography is amazing, especially in IMAX. The scenes in Hong Kong are the most visually stunning I've ever seen. The gritty style of the fight scenes was a nice contrast to a lot of the heavily stylized action films of late(Matrix, 300, V for Vendetta, etc.). In TDK, it's hard to tell who's beating up who.
In a movie this "big", it was the subtle things that pushed it from being a good action movie to being a legitimately great film. The best example for me came in the opening robbery scene. Check it out around 5:51.


On his way out of the bank, the Joker grabs the bank manager's (William Fichtner) shotgun, which he uses later when he crashes Dent's party. That about sums up his character right there.

What Didn't Work: I would have liked to see some of the scenes flushed out a little more, instead of ending with cutaways. For instance, the scene where the Joker pushes Rachel out the window simply ends with Batman and Rachel lying on a car. Did the Joker and his men just leave after that? Did Batman try to chase after them? Another example, the Joker/Dent scene in the hospital. Did Two Face just walk away? How did he get out of the hospital? The most glaring problem, though, was the scene on the ferry. You mean to tell me that no one thought to inspect the boats for dynamite when a psychopathic killer just blew up a hospital?

Best Scene(s): The opening bank heist was the best scene in the movie. It's one of my favorite scenes in a movie, ever. The interrogation scene was brilliant as well and so was the Joker/Dent hospital chat, which gives the viewer more insight into the Joker's character and motivations (or lack thereof). It's also a brilliant depiction of how the Joker can get inside someones head. Harvey is permanently scarred and his potential wife is dead, yet the Joker still manages to turn Harvey's fury onto the corrupt cops and Batman. A scene that flew a bit under the radar was the one immediately following the bank heist, with Scarecrow and the fake Batmen. Juxtaposed with the heist, it smacks you right in the face and sets the tone for the rest of the film.
If I had to rank them, I'd go 1)bank heist 2)interrogation 3)Dent/Joker in the hospital 4)Scarecrow/fake Batmen
The closing dialogue from Gordon is great too. It ends this film, but makes it clear that the story is not over, a lot like the ending of Batman Begins. I'm interested to see where they could go from here, though, especially with Ledger's death.

Worst Scene(s): Tough question. If I could take out one scene/plot line it would probably be the whole Hong Kong adventure, although if that would eliminate the unbelievable background scenery. They could have at least cut this scene up a little bit, and given more time to other, more important sequences. Also, the scene in the jail where the whole place explodes, but the Joker somehow is the only one still standing. How would all the people around him get knocked out, but not him? Finally, the car chase scene (with Gordon driving the armored car with Dent in it) was a little over the top. The scene as a whole was exciting as hell, but the Batmobile jumping in front of the Joker’s rocket was ridiculous. How the hell would Batman know the Joker was firing at that exact moment? I’m picking at nits here, but that was too over the top. Thankfully, that was the only time the action scenes crossed into Live Free or Die Hard territory.

Best Line(s): The Joker's "Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established social order, and everything becomes chaos" was my favorite line. Also thought that Alfred's musings about the bandit in Burma, "Some men aren't interested in anything logical...some men just want to watch the world burn" was awesome.


I liked the nod to the first film here too. Wayne tells Alfred that "criminals aren't complicated" which is exactly what Ra's al Ghoul (Liam Neeson's character in the first film) told him during his training. Nice touch.

Worst Line(s): During the bank robbery "Where'd you learn to count?" seemed kind of trite. "I good with calculation" was pretty lame too, although Dent's retort "How long do you calculate you'd last in there" was funny. Dent's "The night is darkest just before the dawn" line was good, but is that even true?
Unsung Hero: Gary Oldman. Gordon has a quiet strength about him. He's the calming presence in the film. Hard to believe this is the same guy who played Sid Vicious in Sid and Nancy and Lee Harvey Oswald in JFK. By the way, where does the term "unsung" hero come from? Is there such a thing as a "sung" hero?

Final Analysis: The best comic book adaptation of all time. One of the greatest action/crime films of all time. A rare films that is entertaining as hell yet makes you think. Similar to last year's No Country for Old Men, it stayed with me for days afterwards. It's rewatchable time and again despite it's length. That being said, not without its flaws. Nolan gets a little too cute with the editing at times and there's a few over the top action scenes. Still, these flaws are easy to overlook due to the excellence of everything else.
Grade:9.5/10

Title

So I settled on a title: Zeitgeist. I'm not a huge fan of it, but it's far better than "Random Thoughts." According to Wikipeida, Zeitgeist refers to "the intellectual, cultural, ethical and political climate, ambiance and morals of an era or also a trend." From dictionary.com, "the spirit of the time; general trend of thought or feeling characteristic of a particular period of time."

Since I'm planning on writing mostly about pop culture stuff (sports, film, television, music, etc.) it makes sense, though I'm certainly open to suggestions. Zeitgeist is also the name of the latest Smashing Pumpkins album, which was not very good. But the cover is cool...

Intro

I was avoiding work on the internet today when I got this idea to start a blog. Last year my assistant basketball coach was always telling me that I should get one, so Coach Shannon, wherever you are, this is dedicated to you. I'm not sure what the purpose of a blog actually is, and I've always thought of them as slightly self-indulgent, but whatever. I've got some free time this semester, so instead of procrastinating by watching YouTube clips and reading the Onion I can now procrastinate by "blogging.”


After a futile half hour spent trying to come up with a witty/funny title for this thing, I decided to go with "Random Thoughts." My feeling is that a title will emerge when the time is right (that was sarcasm). If anyone has any ideas, you’re welcome to pass them along to me. Speaking of which, I feel somewhat awkward writing this, since I have no idea who the audience is.

Also, I saw a trailer for Watchmen the other day, and even though it gave away what seemed to be a big plot point, it looks sick. Thus the blood stained smiley face. I hope this movie doesn’t suck.