Sweet 16/Elite 8: Well, that sucked...

This wasn't a great weekend for college basketball or for my bracket. Most of the games were snoozefests, the average margin of victory was (by my own calculations) 55.7, and every game except Pitt-Villanova seemed to lack any kind of flow or rhythm. On a personal level, seemingly every team I was rooting for/had in my bracket lost. I guess the "glass half-full" way to look at this would be that 1) it looks like a collision course of the two teams (UNC and UConn) that have been the best all year and 2) the better team has more or less won each game. I don't see it like that, though. I long for the days when the George Masons and Wichita States of the world made it to the Elite 8. A few thoughts...

-So apparently Hasheem Thabeet is a big Scrabble player. Like Luke Wilson in Anchorman, I did not see that coming. He looks more like a Battleship guy to me. There is some precedence to this Scrabble/basketball connection, though. Back in high school, a bunch of guys from my team would play Scrabble before practices and games. It was a good time. Anyway, according to the article, Thabeet has trouble finding competition, which doesn't surprise me at all. Somehow I don't think that Stanley Roberts and Jeff Adrien are looking to break a pre-game mental sweat.

Hasheem Thabeet: immigrant, shot blocker, humanitarian, wordsmith

-What the hell happened to Memphis? 102 points? Really? For the season, the Tigers gave up about 57 points a game. Granted, that's against a hodgepodge of Conference USA teams that would struggle to make the playoffs in the Fidelity House men's league, but it''s still an impressive number. I know Missouri was good, but they average about 81 points a game. For a team that supposedly takes pride in it's defense, what a dismal effort.

-Missouri has the second most wins in the tourney without a trip to the Final Four. The number one team? Sadly, the Eagles of Boston College.

-The Zags loss to UNC was brutal. Like I said before, I wouldn't have bet my life savings on a Zaga win, but I thought they'd put up a better fight than they did. I didn't get to see most of the second half because CBS switched to MSU-Kansas, but it seemed like every time Gonzaga got into any kind of rhythm the Tar Heels would come back with a score. UNC is great at that. One of the announcers mentioned it during the UNC-Oklahomah game: the Heels do a great job of getting the ball out and attacking after the other team scores. So while your team is celebrating, they're knocking down a three on the other end. They also shot a blistering 57.9% from three (11 of 19) and 52.9% from the field.

-Since I have no team left to support, I guess I'll just root for a MSU-Villanova final. Speaking of Nova, Jay Wright wins the award for best-dressed coach of the tournament. The man looks like he's attending a wedding reception night in and night out. You've got to respect that.

-Bill Raftery on Scotty Reynolds: "The thing about Reynolds is that even if he misses a couple, he's still gonna jack em up. He plays very positively." Translation: He's a chucker. Still, that last second shot is one of the best end-of game plays I've ever seen. A ton of credit should go to Dante Cunningham, who made the hook and ladder-esque pass to Reynolds. To have the state of mind and wherewithal to make a play like that under those conditions was extraordinarily clutch. It's reminiscent of the Bryce Drew shot, though obviously not as good.




-I wish Gus Johnson was announcing the Final Four. Clark Kellog is alright, but he really doesn't bring much to the table. He's knowledgeable, yeah, but he's about as interesting as a lecture on Keynesian economic theory. Anyway, check out some of Gus Johnson's memorable calls. The video is really grainy, but otherwise it's pretty sick.


-It was too bad to see Oklahoma go out the way they did. In my experience, whenever a team has a great year but gets blown out in their last game people tend to dwell on that one game. Look at the '85 Patriots. They had a solid season(ending the year at 14-6) which ended in the franchises' first Superbowl trip. No one remembers that, though. All anyone remembers is the 46-10 drubbing they took in their last game.

-Anyone who thinks Tyler Hansbrough is better than Blake Griffin is either a lunatic or doesn't understand the game of basketball. Griffin is a better rebounder. He's stronger, and he's much more dominant. The guy gets it done despite being the focus of every teams defense. Golden Boy is on a better team, clearly. He's a very good college player. But let's be honest, a good chunk of his points come from bullying guys in the post and using his size and physicality to just out muscle or outwork people. The man has the finesse of a field ox. There's no way in hell he'll be doing that in the NBA. For further proof of Hansbrough's sucktitude, see below.

-CORRECTION: In last week's post, I haphazardly mentioned that Eric Devendorf was the most annoying player in recent memory. Well, I was obviously a little loopy when I wrote that, because Joakim Noah outranks Devendorf in virtually every category on the aggravation scale. Ridicolously bad haircut? Check. Aggravating parent/sibling/wife/fan following at every game? Check. Elitist attitude and sense of entitlement? Check. General douchebaggery on and off the court? Check. I guess his obscure NBA career made me forget about him. My bad.

Noah is unsurpassed in his ability to infuriate fans, players, opposing coaches, infants, kittens, etc.

March Madness Opening Rounds

The first two rounds of this years NCAA tourney have been disappointing to say the least. Despite a few first round upsets (Cleveland State pounding Wake, Wisconsin getting a miraculous layup to beat FSU, Arizona beating Utah) there are no Cinderellas left. There were some good games, like Siena-Ohio State and Gonzaga Western Kentucky, but it seems like most of them have wallowed in that 10 point, not-a-blowout-but-not-a close-game-either territory. A few observations:

-UConn and Villanova have looked the sharpest so far. UConn put the wood to the Mocs of Chattanooga in their first game, then embarrassed Texas A&M in the second. I honestly didn't think the Huskies were great without Jerome Dyson, but they've been impressive so far. Nova struggled a bit against a gritty American, but throttled UCLA in the Round of 32. That was an embarrassing loss for the Bruins. It's one thing to lose in your last game, but they looked like they didn't want to be out there.

-Pitt has looked shaky. They avoided becoming the first 1 seed to be upset, mainly due to East Tennessee State's abysmal performance from the free throw line. If you're trying to beat a team much better than you, it's a must that you make at least 80% of your freebies. The Buccaneers shot a ghastly 12 for 24. Ouch. Anyway, against OK State, Pitts vaunted defense gave up a whopping 49 points in the first half. I don't think Xavier is unbelievable, but look for a potential upset Saturday and the close of Levance Fields seemingly never-ending career.

-My beloved Zags dodged a bullet against a red-hot Western Kentucky team. The Hilltoppers played out of their minds, seemingly hitting every open three and getting big play after big play down the stretch. Gonzaga plays North Carolina Friday. By no means would I guarantee a victory, but I think the Zags have as good a chance as anyone to upend the Tar Heels. The two teams met a few years ago in the pre-season NIT, with Gonzaga coming away with an 82-74 victory. In that game, Josh Heytvelt dominated Golden Boy Tyler Hansborough. They've certainly got the the skill to play with the Tar Heels, but it remains to be seen if they have the toughness. Jeremy Pargo is going to be the X-factor. He's as athletic and skilled as anyone on UNC. If he scores 15+, Gonzaga will be in a good position to win.

-I don't remember who was announcing the game, but he was all over Maryland's somewhat portly Sean Neal, calling him a "church league all-star." Later in the Gonzaga-Western Kentucky game, the announcer(I wish I could remember who it was) made the same charge against WKU's Orlando Mendez-Valdez (who had a game-high 25 points). This raised the question: who would be a better men's league or rec player? On the one hand, Mendz-Valdez can shoot lights out from pretty much anywhere. Neal, though, would be a force on the inside. I'd have to give the edge to OMV I think, just because guards tend to dominate those leagues. Also, Neal looks like the type of guy who gets wildly out of shape during the offseason.

Orlando Mendez-Valdez, coming to a men's' league near you...

-Expect Syracuse to give Oklahoma a run for their money. If you look around the college basketball landscape this year, the good teams are all relatively "starless." Even guys like Dejuan Blair of Pitt and Ty Lawson of UNC aren't exactly of the Kevin Durant/Carmello Anthony mold. Oklahomah is not like that at all. I think leaning so much on one player, especially a big guy, means they have a good chance of being upset. Syracuse has been playing well as of late and they have a balanced team; their starters average 17,16, 12, 10, and 10. Oklahoma's average 23, 14, 10, 9 and 8 but more importantly, Blake Griffin is virtually their only rebounder. If he gets some early foul trouble or pulls a hammy, the Orange will have a shot. Speaking of Syracuse, my brother brought up a good point the other day: Arinze Onuaku looks like Jonny Flynn's father.

Onuaku congratulates his son on a job well done.

-Another thing about Syracuse, I can't think of any player in recent memory more annoying than Eric Devendorf. Everything from his "ghetto" tattoos, to his ridiculous on-court posturing and trash talking, to his abuse of women screams "I am an ignorant tool." But it's not so much his classless behavior that bothers me. I mean, Jason Williams (the former Kings pg, not the announcer turned murderer or the motorcycle enthusiast) had the same "trailer park thug" vibe as Devendorf , but he was at least fun to watch. Devendorf is a chucker extraordinaire who thinks he's God's gift to the game of basketball. Pat Forde recently wrote an article for ESPN where he interviewed Devendorf. "I'm a good dude, man. I'm a down-to-Earth dude" he says. Give me a break. Remember his celebration after his supposed game winner against UConn? Not exactly the actions of a "down-to-Earth dude." As Frank Costanza once said: This guy, this is not my kind of guy. End of rant.

-I couldn't have been more disappointed with Arizona's success this weekend. Why? Because it validates the idea of putting "name" schools who had mediocre seasons into the tourney. Are the Wildcats one of the best 65 teams in the country? Probably, yeah. But their resume did not merit them getting in. They only won 6 more games than they lost, for Christ's sake. You're telling me if, for instance, Oregon State had the same resume they would have been tourney-bound? Now, the next time some bum on the selection committee is arguing for an average school from a power conference to get in over a mid-major team that had the best season in school in school history but bowed out in the conference championship game, he can just say "Look at Arizona in '09."

-One trend I've noticed is that not many guys are rocking the high socks these days. The fashion statement that has made a huge impact has been, regrettably, the arm band/sleeve thing first popularized by Allen Iverson. For the life of me I can't figure out what possible purpose, medical or otherwise, this could serve, other than maybe covering up obscene tattoos. I'm assuming it's a "this looks cool" type thing, in which case I'm fine with it. I just wish they would admit that it's a fashion statement, instead of hiding behind the "my doctor told me I had to wear this because it keeps my arm warm" excuse. They should implement a rule that you have to be one of the top two players on your team to wear a sleeve. If you come off the bench or average less than 10 points a game and are wearing a sleeve, you're probably a jackass.

-Finally, the commercials this weekend are getting stale like you wouldn't believe. I watched most of the games, and every game used more or less the same rotation. This consisted of the Axe commercial with the sweatiest man in the world, three or four Sonic commercials with the two guys in the drive-thru, the "alright class, let's button it" for that phone company, the Jordan Legendary ones, and a car commercial or two here and there. Some of these are moderately funny, but seeing them twenty to thirty times in a day tends to ruin the humor.